Generational Gems - by Vidya Shetty and grand-daughter, Deesha Adyanthaya
We have heard many times before about the younger generation talking about conflict, dilemma in their lives growing up here, arranged marriages, Indian culture versus American etc. Case in point is the most recent article Vinod wrote about his household in the NJ souvenir.
The older population faces a different kind of dilemma than the youngsters. We came here some forty years ago. The U.S. is our home now, but our roots go back to Mangalore and my young memories lie in Mumbai where I grew up. In these electronic days it is easier to keep in touch with one’s siblings and extended families almost on a daily basis, but the conflict within continues.
Whether you are an immigrant moving into “foreign” country or not, we all face constant conflict, dilemma and choices in our lives as we grow older. The choices and concerns that we face as the first generation of immigrants today are vast. To name a few here, we still continue to struggle with the idea of retirement. Should we retire here in the US or in India? Should we own a place in India or should we just stay in India at least a few months of the year to continue the link with other family members?
Although our children and grandchildren grow up and continue to live here, how can we ensure that they do have a continued link to our extended families? How can we ensure they maintain not only the key traditions of our culture, but also their own individual identities?
In the past when we migrated here, there were not many families around and communication back home was very difficult. The financial regulations of the government were very restrictive and job market was not ideal. As a student, you could perhaps do odd jobs here and there and get some pocket money. The food available here in the US was not appealing at all to Indians no matter what part of India you came from.
We constantly thought of going home and felt very unsettled. At such point in our lives, the support we got from our families in India was very valuable, unique and absolutely essential for our existence here and for which we are thankful and feel blessed. Will all these memories fade away with time among the next generation?
The Arduous Journey to College
Filling out applications, maintaining grades, attending club meetings, applying for scholarships, and writing essays, are just a few of the monstrous tasks one has to achieve to reach academic success. Being a senior is no picnic at the beach.
Ever since I was a little kid I have always dreamed about going to college. There is just something so exciting about being away from home and on your own. You don’t have to abide by any household rules because you learn to make your own once you are out of the house. When I was young, I didn’t really think about the consequences of leaving home. My parents have always given me my basic necessities in life and anything else I could ask for. Now that I will be on my own soon, I have to learn to take care of myself. When I really think about it, it’s pretty scary.
College will be a completely different experience than high school. Older kids, extreme peer pressure, parties, new friends, challenging work loads, etc. During my high school years, I always had my parents to turn to if troubles arose near me or I needed somewhere to go. Now I have to face these challenges on my own. Although there is one thing that my parents have given me that can never be taken away from me - their life lessons. As soon as I step on that campus I have to remember who I am, what I’m here for, and where I have come from. I can’t let distractions divert my attention from achieving my goal. I am positive that college will be one of the most amazing experiences of my life and now I can honestly say that I’M READY!!
Deesha Adyanthaya